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"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live."
~ Mark Twain

 

 

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Dear God
Date: September 25, 2004

There are Kangaroo Caves in the Karoo desert and this isn't even Australia. I am in Graaf-Reinet, one of the most pleasant cities in South Africa, possibly because many people here are not black or white but colored which blurs the racism. I haven’t seen many colored people in other parts of Africa. I am also in the middle of the Karoo semi-desert, next to the Valley of Desolation, and it is pouring rain. This morning the ground became saturated and rivulets of rain and mud began to flow through and under my tent. I had to move everything to higher ground, which only made things wetter and muddier. And my joints ached and ground because I haven’t recovered from the strong winds and draining heat, and straining near my limit not to get stuck in the middle of the Karoo without water and nowhere safe to camp. The locals assure me the hills have eyes. Crime, rain, sleet, frost, blizzard, gale-force winds – I am really really getting angry! God put St. Nicholas through the wringer like Job and good ol’ Nick never complained once and was rewarded with sainthood. If God is testing me, I am failing, so the moral of this anecdote is obvious -- I’m no saint, in other words, You can lead a horse to water and piss on a cyclist but You can’t expect him to be happy; so stick it up Your ass, if You have one, that’s what I say. I’m going to cycle to Cape Town or die trying!

On second thought, I guess that is the point: to be happy even in the Valley of Desolation and Despair. Still, I'm not that spiritually saavy so if You are trying to tell me something, rather than make my life miserable, just say so, otherwise I am going to Cape Town even if it kills me.

 

 

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