|
Date:
October 17, 2002
I am in Oludeniz, Turkey. German para-gliders fall out
of the sky like a WWII blitzkrieg in rainbow colors,
and the English command the ground: restaurants serve
steak and kidney pies, fish and chips, curry and have
several smutty, gossipy newspapers and all the footy
games on the telly. This phenomena, along with 500,000
Australians has followed me across Europe. (Actually,
I am in Asia, but you would never know it.) At the
risk of sounding cynical, I will be glad to leave
Europe. I think Europeans are generally unaffectionate
compared to the Latins and caught between the
romanticism of their fantastic history and a wannabe
of American culture.
On the contrary to my ambivalance with Europe, I am
surprised how much I miss Dennis. He left a few hours
ago on the mini-bus. If I wasn't such a cold-hearted
German, myself, I would have shed some tears. Perhaps,
I am tapped out. That reminds me of the saying,
"Blood, sweat and tears." I think it should be
reordered: tears are by the far the most difficult to
endure, followed by blood and then sweat.
In the most important senses, Dennis has been the most
intimate relationship I have had. For over a year, we
have spent 24 hours a day, 7 days a week together,
though, generally, we ride separately. Most express
amazement, "And, you still like each other?" I
am as
surprised as anyone. I have fared much worse with the
opposite sex.
I will really miss Dennis and: waking up to the smell
of fresh brewed coffee every morning, or dinner after
a long day, or the fatherly and over-practical advice,
for instance, once I said I was tired of going from
place to place just looking at things as if
I were watching TV, "Well," Dennis said,
"You might
as well just throw yourself off the ferry and get it
over with." Actually, tomorrow, I am going to
throw
myself off a cliff.... But that is another story.
I still haven't figured this out exactly but according
to the self-help books I read: romantic love
doesn't exist that it is just an illusion or a step on
the way to true love. I believe, Dennis and I have
had our honeymoon period, or romantic love,...
(Whoops! I just hit the wrong button while talking to
the first Macedonian to go to the Arctic. He just
parachuted onto the North Pole. I am paying him 40
Euros to throw me off a cliff tomorrow.)
anyway... then Dennis and I hated each other for
awhile, and now I have developed a true brotherly love
for him. Dennis adds value to my life.
But Dennis is going home and I admit, for a long time
-- from Peru to Germany -- this pissed me off. I said
to anyone that cared to listen, "He's quitting. No
great person -- Picasso, Shakespeare, Einstein, Mozart
-- ever accomplished anything. they all suffered;
where would the world be if they quit? For awhile, he
had many excuses. But now, simply, I understand that
great people have a love for what they are doing.
Dennis doesn't love bicycle touring. It is time for
him to move on to other areas in his life where he can
grow more. For now, this means contributing to his
family and community. Dennis says, "There is no
thing or person more important to me than Ally {His
step-daughter}."
Mentally, Dennis had finished his trip a long time
ago. I, metaphorically speaking, have another mountain
to climb. I feel I have just summit ted the largest
mountain of my life for the second time. The first
time, I summitted, I think I must have become
complacent and coasted backwards all the way down
again. Now, I have begun the descent in the proper
direction. Already, I see the next mountain and I
won't feel ready to go home until I summit this one.
Of course, there will be many mountains to climb for
the rest of my life. One of these will be giving up my
self and settling down to contribute to a family and
community, like Dennis. For now, my challenge is a bit
of a mystery. I call the next mountain Loving Myself
and Life. But I can't see the summit, or the
conclusion -- thus the mystery.¾ I don't want to go
home breaking even but breaking through the next level
of spiritual growth.
Only a true friend would jump out of an airplane after
me and follow me around the world on a bicycle. Good
luck with your new life, Dennis. I have a learned a
lot from you.
Love, Scotty
P.S. Now I am off to the beach with some cute German
girls. Life is hard.
|
