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Date:
November 19, 2002
Am I Boring You? or The Meaning of Life and Love Par Deux
As my grandma would say, I am busy getting fat and sassy on the beach
in Dahab, though at first, I lost several kilos due to a bout of
Guardia. The locals fertilize the fields with human waste and this has
a knack for sticking to the vegetables. I'm still looking forward to
dysentery in India.
This is the last email of this nature for awhile. I am tired of
philosophizing, besides I can't take myself seriously anymore. As
Vilmar says, I'm just a guy who asks too many questions. Asking
questions prevents being at peace. For instance, a happy person never
asks, 'Am I happy now? How about now?'
I hope this last email will provide some catharsis and cleanse my brain
before I continue because, somehow, thousands of negative thoughts have
hardwired my brain's synapses into negative patterns. I could list
possible reasons but they don't matter because I need to take
responsibility for my own life despite whatever nature or nurture
malfunctions I've had.
It is time to stop being a mental hypochondriac, to stop living in my
imagination -- recreating the past and predicting the future -- and
focus my energies on living in the moment and on other people. Sure, I
will have plenty of difficulties in the future, some may be justified
or funny but none are worth dwelling on. At every moment, I have a
choice whether or not to walk on the sunny side of the street. It is
time to stop blaming myself. Je ne suis qu'un homme. (I am only a man.)
Or, as Dennis says, 'Life isn't that hard. I just make it hard.' And, I
believe, life really is simply once you accept the following: Life is
sorrowful (or hard or unfair); To find the meaning of life -- give your
life meaning; To be happy -- BE happy; To be loved -- love. To love
yourself -- love others.
Onward ho,
Scotty
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